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Love Life: The pitfalls of dating

My first date was rather simple: a stroll through a park and a movie.

Its potential to succeed was great; however, the hungry monster in me ruined its chances.

As my date tried feeding me some teddy graham cookies, I lost the concept of femininity, for instead of taking a sensual, small bite with pouted lips, I chomped the poor little bear.

Most embarrassing, however, was when my date pointed it out.

“Are you hungry? Because you sure are downing these cookies!”

After this date, I learned to be more conscious about my actions, but as I reminisced, I began to wonder about what kind of embarrassing or bad dates other people have experienced.

“I went out with this girl I met on MySpace. I picked her up and took her to the park because I was kind of broke. The date was going okay until I got hungry and suggested we go to Denny’s. In my mind, I knew I had enough money to get something for both of us, even if I had to order something small. She, however, said she didn’t want anything, so I ordered a fancy burger, but when the waitress came back, she ordered after all. I knew I was in trouble. Shortly after, my card was rejected, and I asked my date if she had any money; she didn’t. I had to call a friend to rescue me. I was embarrassed but mainly upset because the girl didn’t even eat her food.”

-Mr. Fancy Burger

“I was set up on a blind date by my girlfriend who said my date was a little on the heavy side but very handsome. As I arrived to the bar, I noticed my date was nothing like he said he looked. He was more than heavy and had a big beard, totally not my type. Minutes after we had been talking, I excused myself to go to the restroom, and I took off through the back door. I’m glad the date was in a bar; it was easier to escape.”

-Backdoor Escape Artist

“I was at a party with my boyfriend, and we both decided to get a little nasty. We headed to the laundry room, turned on the washer, and got a little busy. In the middle of everything, three of my friends walked in looking for something and caught me. I guess they got a glimpse of my butt; I’m just glad it was them instead of some random people.”

-Laundry Girl

“Several years after my divorce, I decided to date again. I met a guy for some drinks and wings. I was not too hungry, so I ordered five wings while he enjoyed a 20 piece. I drank water because I didn’t want to get drunk on a first date. When he asked for the ticket, I offered him money for the food I ate, and he took it. Who does that? Whatever happened to men paying on the first date? Besides, I only had five wings with water. To top it off, he didn’t tip. I never saw him again.

-Tipped-off Divorcée

Listening to these dates made feel at ease, for I know that everyone has had their share of embarrassing or bad moments. The monster I once became can be ignored and placed in the past.