Love life: Excusing domestic violence

What do you think, Laredo? Should domestic violence be tolerated? Are there double standards: celebrities versus “ordinary people or females versus males? Should a female be charged for slapping a male, and if not, why is the male charged? Please share your thoughts by commenting on the bridge website @ www.the bridgenewspaper.com, emailing a letter to the editor @ bridge editor@tamiu.edu, or contacting me for a personal interview at (956) 326-2472.—“The woman is at fault; she must have triggered the fight and caused him to hit her,” said a female friend when referring to an act of physical abuse.This attitude, although absurd, is not uncommon, and because some parts of society think this way, the number of abused victims is high. According to the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence (NCADV), “one in every four women will experience domestic violence, [especially] females who are 20-24 years of age.”In an article published in the March 2009 issue of Journal of Language and Social Psychology,Alexandra Frazer and Michelle Miller state that even journalistic styles of writing – whether passive or active – affect society’s views on domestic violence.”Verb voice [especially passive] affects reader interpretations of violent acts, particularly with respect to the victim’s role in bringing the crime on himself or herself,” said Frazer and Miller.Even though styles of writing influence people’s view on abusive relationships, I still ponder what other factors encourage this submissive attitude – one that excuses violent behavior by blaming a woman.Can it be ignorance, the rising number of children growing up in abusive homes, or the media?For past generations, domestic violence was an unspoken issue. The absence of information perpetuated ignorance, thus claiming that a woman who got beat deserved it; however, education is highly accessible now, so ignorance can no longer be an excuse.On the other hand, children growing up in abusive homes are more prone to abusing their own partners and children.The NCADV states, “witnessing violence between one’s parents is the strongest risk factor of transmitting violent behavior from one generation to the next, [and] boys who witness [it] are twice as likely to abuse their own partner.”This might seem like a valid excuse, for a child has no control over his parent’s actions, but does it make domestic violence excusable?Not necessarily; however, the media does excuse it.In a “Storytellers” episode on VH1, Kanye West referred to Michael Jackson and OJ Simpson as “amazing,” excusing their behavior by quoting a movie line: “You either live to be a superhero or long enough to be the villain.”Within the same breath, he asked the public to give Chris Brown, who allegedly assaulted his girlfriend Rhianna, “a break.”Is it possible that Brown, at age 19, has lived long enough to be a villain?Who is the victim: Brown, the product of a domestic violent home, or Rhianna, the woman who was “bit, punched, and choked” (US Weekly).Although Rhianna forgave Brown and the court might forgive him, should we, the public, forgive him too? What message will the law and society send if Brown is not charged and continues his career as an R&B star?If his success continues, then, I am convinced we live in a media-oriented world – one that looks up to celebrities by modeling and supporting their behavior; we have become media addicts!