Hello friends. I am here today to show you the secrets and wonders of poverty. That’s right, kids, poverty. Being a college student is tough as it is and living on your own even more. So what are the secrets of poverty, you ask? All will be explained in The Bridge’s “Dorm Room Warrior’s Cookbook”.
We all have those moments when we promise to move the world and we can’t. Well, you can apologize with Poor Man’s Alfredo.
INGREDENTS: Simple, all you need is standard spaghetti (any brand will do, trust me) and ranch dressing. How you obtain the ranch dressing is completely up to you, but it needs to be ranch dressing. Not thousand islands, not Italian, not even Jay-Bow’s world famous buttermilk sauce: RANCH DRESSING.
COOKING: Okay, now that we’re clear on the ingredients, you will need to boil the pasta and what not. If you do not know how to boil pasta by this time, you should drop out of school and never return. No need to warm the ranch dressing, considering it might be refrigerated or room temperature. Beggars can’t be choosers.
SERVING and WINE PAIRING: Serve in bowl, cup or plate. Whatever works, we’re not proud. As far as wine is concerned, we used “2 Buck Chuck” (Charles Shaw available at Trader Joe’s for, you guessed it, $2.00) back at the Academy of Art SF, but Tisdale works; runs roughly at 5 dollars at your local market. If all else fails, lighten your beer pong game by a couple of cups and enjoy the meal.
Any comments, criticism, rants or death threats, please comment below.
Michael Martinez may be reached at michaelmartinez@dusty.tamiu.edu