Love Life: Is romance a 'dying art?'

If opening car doors, getting up to excuse a woman from a table, and giving flowers are romantic gestures that every woman enjoys and wishes for, why are they only found in movies and T.V. shows? Do we live in a time where society experiences their ideal, platonic loves only through the media? And if so, wouldn't that mean people are sacrificing what they expect to find in love and settling for a much more dull, convenient love life?Catherine Latterell, the author of Remix, believes "Americans are bombarded with images and messages about romance," thus creating four basic assumptions about love: "love conquers all, chemistry equals love, my true love will be my soul mate, and true love is forever."However, these assumptions can have negative outcomes, for Americans create false idealizations about how relationships should be. Because most people build fantasies upon these four ideas, I wonder what is at stake in the way Americans define romance?Kristina Ramirez, an alumnus, believes people become more vulnerable when trying to achieve a love life like those portrayed in movies. "Romance doesn't exist, and watching movies and TV shows only creates more problems in a relationship," said Ramirez.In his essay "The End of the Affair," David Sedaris writes about a date he and his significant other had to the movies. After watching a romantic movie, his partner Hugh's eyes were completely shut from excessive crying."[Watching movies] encourages the viewer to make a number of unhealthy comparisons, ultimately raising the question 'why can't our lives be like that?'" Sedaris writes.Sedaris argues that after 10 years of dating, he and Hugh can't share those romantic and adventurous moments, for they already passed that stage in their relationship and are now at the point where sitting in silence while drinking coffee is romantic. Can this possibly be true-is a romantic coffee date what "till death do us part" leads to? What about Hugh? Who is to say he finds coffee dates romantic?Rene Medrano, a senior English and Psychology major, believes that courtship and romance dissipated over the years; however, he recommends lovers need to communicate what they like because if they don't, they will end up miserable or fall short of what they really wanted."If you swallow pebbles all your life, you will end up with a stomach full of rocks; you must communicate," said Medrano.Although communication strengthens a relationship, others, like fitness and sports major Martell Lewis, wish romance and courtship still existed."It should exist, but the setting and atmosphere in which you meet a woman has changed; why would I open doors for women that walked in with two other girls and five guys to a bar," said Lewis. Another student who would rather remain anonymous agrees with Lewis."We are now meeting people under the influence and breaking cardinal sins in the first couple of weeks, so we lose respect," said the anonymous source.After many wishful yet negative opinions about romance, I came to the conclusion that we might never return to the days that my mother or grandmother described to me: picnics at the park, serenades outside your window, or men asking parents' permission when proposing.However, I still believe surprising your significant other with flowers, candy, or his/her favorite book isn't too much to ask for. Both men and women should fight to keep romance alive, especially if they ever want it to be like it is portrayed in movies and previous generations.Don't let romance become, as a friend of mine once said, "A dying art."

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