Love Life: Students reveal ups and downs of marrying young

Samuel Johnson, in his essay "The Rambler, No.18 on marriage," once said, "There is no observation more frequently made ... than that marriage, though the dictate of Nature, and the institution of Providence, is yet very often the cause of misery, and that those who enter into that state can seldom forbear to express their repentance."Although this was written in the 18th century, today the same concern about marriage remains: Is getting married the path to happiness, and if one is young, will one face more struggles, ultimately leading to regret?In their study for USA TODAY, Sharon Jayson and Anthony DeBarros found that marriages among 20-year-olds have decreased since 2000.In 2006, 73% of men and 62.2% of women in their 20's had not married, compared to 64% of men and 53.4% of women in 2000.Fifty percent of marriages end up in a divorce. Shocking, isn't it? Once this statistic is broken down into age groups, almost 40% of divorces can be attributed to couples who are 20-24- years-old. The second highest percentage is among people who marry under the age of 20.So, after acknowledging such a harsh reality, I still ponder one question: What prompts young marriages, and how do the couples deal with such unfavorable circumstances?William Haynes, a senior English major, married at age 22 and has now been married for 10 months.Haynes tied the knot because he "desired married life."However, Kristina Rodriguez, also an English major, married due to a pregnancy at age 18.Both of these individuals have different perspectives on married life."The advantages [of married life] certainly outweigh the disadvantages; the main advantage is always having a friend with you," said Haynes."Marrying young can lead to disaster because [one] gets into a commitment with another person without yet knowing oneself," said another person who is also married but chose to remain anonymousHowever, Juan Sebastian Mendive, COAS Senator for the Student Government, expressed a different opinion."It has to do with maturity, for a young, mature couple may enjoy a longer and more fulfilling marriage than an older, less mature couple," said Mendive. Self-actualization is hard to achieve, and trying to accomplish a complete understanding of one's identity can be twice as difficult when sharing one's personal space with another. "The responsibilities of marriage are just too much for a 19-year-old to handle," writes Erin McNamee in his article "Young Marriages Wind up on Rocks." Mendive, who married at age 19, believes otherwise, for he thinks young couples can enjoy marriage."If you have communication, trust, honesty, and love in your marriage, it is sure to last a lifetime," said Mendive.Rodriguez, who has a four-year-old boy, also believes the responsibilities of being married can be managed."Money becomes an issue, but having a child also brings you and your significant other closer together; it is easier to put up with more," said Rodriguez.After all of this data, I asked myself, would I marry young?Personally, I don't think I am ready. My goal is to be financially stable, and of course, in love before marrying. Call me a feminist, but I want to have a degree and not have to depend on a spouse for financial support. By finding the most comfortable, stable, and convenient position in my life, I feel that I prevent outside forces that could instigate a divorce.Others, however, view married life completely differently.Haynes does not "picture [his] life without [his] wife.""In retrospect, I would not do this again; I would rather wait," said Rodriguez.There might never be a precise answer to married life. Its advantages and disadvantages or its happiness and "misery" are different for every couple, depending on their circumstances.